In Which
by rock-the-casbah18
Summary: A series of one-shots featuring our favourite pair, Draco and Hermione. M for later chapters


**In Which A Slytherin Almost, **_**Almost**_** Loses His Cool**

**Disclaimer: **J.K. Rowling owns everything. This is getting tiring, as well as depressing, to always mention.

**A/N:** As I'm writing this, I can admit that I have no idea what words will come after this. I have no idea where the following story will go, or where it shall even start. With that being said, I hope you enjoy whatever nonsense I eventually decide to write.

Draco Malfoy pointed one slender finger and poked it gingerly into Hermione Granger's pale stomach. "What shall we name him?" Draco laid his palm flat against the girl's stomach, soaking in the warmth radiating off of her nervous form.

"We don't even know if there is a 'him' yet, Draco. Just wait until the bloody test is done, alright," Hermione hissed out, rolling her eyes at the aristocratic blond currently perched beside her on her ratty old sofa. The ex-Slytherin immediately removed his hand as if shocked and sat back with a huff and a pout. Hermione just rolled her eyes at his juvenile behaviour before glancing nervously around her flat. It was so silent, she was sure she could her the clock in her bedroom ticking as the seconds passed by.

"I've always fancied the name Olivia," Draco said, enthusiasm renewed as he returned his hands to Hermione's flat stomach.

"Oh, it's a girl now, is it?" Hermione shoved Draco's roaming hands off of her body, before standing up and pacing in front of the sofa. "Fuck it. I can't be a mum, Draco. And you most definitely, can not be a father."She took to glaring angrily at the pregnancy test that was resting on the coffee table and doing her best to ignore the very immature man nearest her.

"I mean, I'm not prepared for nine months of pure agony. The morning sickness, the swollen ankles, the fucking contractions! I can't, Draco, I can't. I'm just not ready for that yet. Jesus," Hermione said hysterically. She rubbed her hands quickly over her face before letting out a deep sigh. "And this is all your bloody fault, I hope you know. It's your semen."

"Oh for fucks sakes, did you honestly just use the word 'semen' conversationally, Hermione? And it's your egg," Draco retorted, bruised by his lover's harsh words. "It's not as if you were complaining at the time. In fact, I do recall you screaming "_don't stop, please don't stop_"." Hermione frowned as Draco imitated her higher-pitched tone. "So it's not all my fault, okay? And is it really such a horrible idea? Having my child? Is that what you're upset about?" Hermione groaned before taking a seat beside Draco once again. She could see the darkened look of pain in his grey eyes, and she pressed a gentle kiss to the corner of his mouth.

"No, luv, never that," Hermione said, wrapping her arms around Draco's slender, though solid, form. Draco rested his chin atop Hermione's curly-haired head and wrapped his stronger arms around her petite frame. "I love you so unbelievably much, and I want to be the mother of your child. Children. But not right now, not as we are. We're just not ready yet." Hermione squeezed her amber eyes shut tightly, fighting away the tears that threatened to fall.

"What happens if you are pregnant, then? What happens to us?" Draco detached himself from his girlfriend and peered anxiously into her eyes. They were wet with tears and he silently prayed that she would not begin to cry, as that would totally ruin any last ounce of Slytherin aloofness that he had.

"Then we become the fucking best mum and dad ever to be. And we don't name the poor child Olivia." Draco chuckled at his girl's sense of humour and tickled her sides gently, setting her off into a fit of giggles. "So I suppose you have a better suggestion then," Draco laughed, pulling Hermione close to his body again.

"Why yes, in fact," Hermione began, "I was thinking Margaret, after my nan." Draco's eyes widened in horror and he mimed vomiting.

"There is no way in hell that my child will be named Margaret. I'll not have her getting attacked in school, or called Marge, or any other equally devastating thing. Could you pick something closer to the twenty-first century please?" Draco's eyebrows raised at Hermione in challenge.

"Oh that's lush. This coming from the man named Draco, whose mother and father are named, respectively, Narcissa and Lucius. What would you have me name her, Aphrodite?" Hermione smiled at her own wit and raised her own eyebrow at Draco.

"Looks like we won't have to worry about that at all," Draco murmured distractedly, redirecting Hermione's focus to the pregnancy test. In small blue letters, it spelled out 'not pregnant'. Hermione was quite surprised when she felt the slightest twinge of disappointment. A glance at Draco let her know that he felt the same.

"Well," Hermione said, clasping her hands together in her lap, "we could always go give it another try?" The smile from Draco that followed was positively wicked and Hermione felt that familiar tingling sensation in her core.

"What a magnificent idea."


End file.
